Starbucks

So about four weeks ago I decided I wanted to enter the world of ridiculously overpriced coffee. Yes, my dear friends, I applied to Starbucks. I called the manager to check the status of my application as my father suggested; however, I haven't received a phone call back, and I believe Starbucks has rejected me. In the process of trying to accept that I may not, in fact, be good enough for Starbucks, I have compiled a list of every reason I would be terrible at the job in order to justify not being hired.

Here's all I came up with:
1) Being a Lent, I really have to question my ability to put up with rushed, tired people who haven't yet had their caffeine
2) I also have to question whether the customers could put up with me when I'm rushed, tired, and without caffeine in the mornings
3) I really don't have any interest in people with three paragraph long orders. I mean, come on, who cares if your frappuccino has skim milk in it or not? Odds are, if you're getting a venti carmel frap every morning, the fat content of the milk I put into it is the least of your calorie consuming problems
4) It took me about 8 years to fill out the application, and the majority of that time was spent trying to answer the question "Why do you want to work at Starbucks?" So naturally, after spending an absurd amount of time trying to figure out what to write, I put that I work well in a fast-paced environment.
5) I still don't have an honest answer to that question
6) I'm sure I would spill coffee, knock over blenders, and trip over things whilst holding drinks pretty regularly
7) I really genuinely do not care what you want to drink.... and I also don't care if I screw it up.

So, that said, if they do call and offer me the job I will still be taking it. If they're stupid enough to pay me for a job I can't even do well, I have no complaints.